A Bikini Brain

With the holiday season slowly creeping up on us I thought I'd write a shot blog on hypnosis for weight loss. After all; when the sun starts peeping through, the shops start stocking bikinis. 

In my personal opinion the most important thing is health. Second to health is confidence in YOU whatever you look like. Of the least importance to me is what the scales say. For many though despite being healthy and having a weight that is within an acceptable range (you know, what the doctors say is ok) confidence is lacking and wearing a bikini is scary.

I believe in using hypnotherapy techniques to improve each of the above. Healthy eating these days is a minefield. Do we go with low fat, low sugar, eat what we want, stop fat and sugar, count calories, juice, shakes, fast, 5-2, 2-5 etc etc. Every one of my weight loss clients confesses to having tried everything and I suspect this is part of the problem. I personally have a vested interest in sugar, research is starting to show us links between sugar, alzheimer's and heart disease. Having researched this myself I decided to quit sugar around 6 months ago. With of course a break for Christmas and another one due for Easter! This is not particularly straightforward though. I was shocked at some of the foods that contain sugar; mayonnaise, stock cubes, gravy, most salad dressings, most crisps, many breads. The likelihood is, if you quit sugar you are going to be healthier. It does not however guarantee weight loss, or body confidence. Weight loss (I mean fat loss), realistically can only be achieved by eating less, exercising more or a combination of the two. Body confidence - well that's a whole other matter! 

When I use hypnosis to help others lose weight I try not to harp on about quitting sugar. Hypnosis for weight loss is not another fad diet, it's a change for life. It's about finding a realistic way of eating and exercising (when possible) that can be maintained for life. If you can't live without chocolate cake you gotta eat the chocolate cake ... but sensibly! 

I want to help others lose weight but going back to my original point the most important thing is health. I know plenty of slim people that live on chocolate - literally. The calorie count of a few chocolate bars a day isn't huge. If not much else is being consumed they probably aren't too overweight. They probably aren't too healthy either! I recognise though that whilst some may say they'd feel happy if they lost two stone, the reality is it might not bring the happiness and confidence they thought it would.  I feel a huge part of weight loss hypnotherapy is about ensuring confidence in yourself. When a client comes to see me I give them my special weight loss rules that can be maintained for life, I do not recommend cutting out any foods or eating different foods. I generally recommend a session with a nutritional therapist, this is included in the hypnogastricband programme, as I do not have any qualifications in nutrition. I spend sessions working on reasons for over eating if this is a problem and ideas to change this habit. I do work on enhancing the desire for healthier options and aversions to foods if requested. If achievable I will help you to find motivation to exercise. I will also spend a large part of sessions working on body confidence. It is so important to feel comfortable with who you are - of course providing you are healthy with it. I hope that the combination of a desire to eat healthily, an increase in body confidence and a reduction in fat (where necessary) = a bikini brain. 

My Birth Story

For all those that have emailed eagerly awaiting my birth story please find it below. My apologies for keeping you in suspense I have been waiting for the, as always, incredible blog post from Kate so that I can link you up! For those that don't want to read the entire story please take a look at the photo story here. As Kate says "To witness the full birth story, watch the slideshow below. Be brave. Go fullscreen because this is a PC rated birth story. Nothing from the business end of proceedings to be seen here." Do also go on to read more of Kate's blog as it will have you in stitches...followed by tears...followed by stitches!

My Birth Story
Sunday 9th October: Went to my Aunt and Uncle's for the day. Whilst there we took the dog for a (approx) 2hr walk which involved climbing over stiles! I woke up in the night and was awake for 3hrs with period pains that lasted approx 30-45 seconds every 13 minutes. I fell back to sleep and woke up in the morning to nothing.

Monday 10th October: When I woke up I had what seemed like a trickling of water but realised it was probably some of the mucus plug. I decided to continue with my normal routine so went swimming and swam just over one kilometre. I then had to go to court as we had taken our plumber to court and the date was today, the hearing lasted just two minutes. I then went and bought the plastic sheeting we needed and – most unlike me – a large bag of malteasers! I think I knew something was going to happen as when I arrived home all I wanted to do was sit on my pregnancy ball and sniff clary sage! I also wanted to walk so when Matt arrived home we went for short walk to the post office (I was conscious of not going too far!)

At 8pm we were sat watching Eastenders & I started to get period pains similar to what I had had the previous night. I had three period pains that lasted about 30 seconds within 45 minutes, at 9pm we decided to go to bed and watch TV. I did however take a look around the lounge and realise there was just one thing I didn't think I would be able to do if I was in labour and that was move the trunk we have as a coffee table, so I asked Matt if we could move it then. Again I think I knew something was going to happen. The crampings continued when I got to bed. At 10pm I decided to go to sleep but the crampings intensified. At 11pm I became quite uncomfortable with back pain so was in and out of the bathroom. I listened to my hypnobirth CD and used some techniques that helped me to deal with and alleviate the back pain allowing me to fall back to sleep for about an hour. When I awoke the back pain had returned so I was again in and out of the bathroom – for some reason sitting on the toilet helped me to feel more comfortable. At 3am I felt as though I wasn't coping very well, being a Hypnobirthing practitioner I had it in my head that I shouldn't be able to feel anything (thinking with a more realistic head I know that with the fertility2birth programme we are very aware of managing expectations and not telling our clients that they will not feel any discomfort throughout birth. Our programme helps women to manage any discomfort of birth and this is something I did really well). I woke Matt and asked him to start getting the room ready downstairs, filling the pool etc and to call my friend Helen who is a midwife and was to be our birth partner.

Helen arrived at approx 3.45am and immediately I felt calmer. Helen asked me some questions and helped me to remember some of my breathing techniques. At 4am Helen suggested I take a couple of paracetamol which I did. Helen then called Tanya, the midwife on call & explained exactly how I was feeling, she arrived at 4.29am. Tanya examined me internally and said that I was 100% effaced but not yet dilated, this was a huge blow for me as I felt I was quite far on due to the feelings I was experiencing. However when Helen asked who we should contact when I need someone to come back (Tanya was only on call until 8am) Tanya replied that she would be back before 8am, she said that I had done the first part very quickly for a first time mum and that the baby's head was very low. Tanya also felt the position of the baby, throughout pregnancy the baby had been in exactly the correct position – until about two weeks before I went into labour when she switched to lay on the right side of me. When Tanya felt this she told me that the baby was going to turn around to my left side throughout labour and although we want her to turn via my front she is going to turn via my back. I believe this is what caused me to have the back pain throughout and unfortunately no relief from any discomfort in between contractions. Tanya then went home and said she would see me later.

I continued as before with Helen and Matt there helping. At approx 7.30am things had intensified so Helen called Tanya back. When Tanya arrived she did another internal examination and told me that I was 3cm dilated. This didn't make me feel great as I was so desperate to get into the pool but I was pleased to be progressing. I was however refusing to sit or lay down. Tanya and Helen told me that I needed to get some rest to make sure I had enough energy for the later stages of labour. I was so worried things would slow down but I also knew that I needed to conserve energy. I curled up on the bed and got into a zone. Helen & Tanya stayed with me but I was very much in my own place, it was extremely calm, they were both very quiet whispering only words of encouragement to me every time I had a contraction which really helped. At one point Tanya gave me a lovely foot massage which really helped things get going. Suddenly, after two hours rest I felt the need to push. I told Helen & Tayna this and Tanya offered me another international examination. I was 7cm dilated. Hearing this was like music to my ears, I could get in the pool. The baby's head was so low it was pushing on the Ferguson reflex point, which was making me push. Tanya said I should try to breathe through the pushing to avoid swelling of the cervix but that my body knew what it was doing so to just go with it.

At 10.30am I rushed downstairs and 'jumped' into the pool. The relief was immense, I had a little cry as it was so beautiful, Matt had lit candles all around the room and put the motivational signs that I had made myself up on the walls. There was also music playing, LeAnn Rimes followed by Lionel Richie. I remember at one point he put on Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love, all the girls questioned him on this one! Matt put some Clary Sage into the oil burner and also a flannel covered in Clary Sage by my head this really helped things move along. At approx 11am the second midwife, Deena arrived. My time in the pool was just beautiful. The atmosphere in the room was lovely; I think that the midwives, Helen, Kate (our birth photographer) and Matt were all having a nice time and a bit of a laugh. At certain times I was able to join in the conversation but for the majority I was focusing on what my body was doing. I do remember that I was shaking quite a lot and was concerned that it was because I hadn't eaten so I asked for some pineapple. I do feel that the shaking subsided after that. I enjoyed reading the signs I had made myself while I was in the pool and just really appreciating the experience I was getting – after all everything was going exactly to plan, I couldn't have wished for anything different. I was pushing from 10.30am (from just before I got into the pool) but my second stage of labour (from when I was 10cm dilated) was only 17mins. I pushed Ezra out in a very controlled, calm way.

At 12.55ish I felt myself push her out, seconds later the midwives were shouting at me to 'catch my baby' it felt like minutes before I registered what they were saying but then I reached down and brought her to the surface. We stayed in the pool until I had delivered the placenta. It was such an amazing beautiful experience and one I can safely say I experienced every little bit of. Fully managing to deliver naturally with only 2 paracetamol at the beginning to mask any feelings is something I had said I wanted to do, even refusing to hire a tens machine. As someone who works with pregnant woman, educating them in a very successful hypnobirth programme I wanted to be able to talk from experience in the future and didn't feel I could do this if I had masked my feelings in any way. Despite the fact there were times when I looked at my bed and thought I wish I could turn a switch, stop everything and just collapse on the bed and fall asleep I feel that the techniques learnt and the information given in the hypnobirth programme meant that I could manage the feelings. I remember reciting certain parts of the programme to myself in my head when I was particularly uncomfortable and the techniques were invaluable especially in the early stages. One thing I will always recommend to people in future is that they have a second birth partner. Helen was amazing, both Matt and I say we couldn't have done it without her. Having her there meant that Matt could get everything set up without needing to worry about me, she was also able to support Matt & keep him calm during a time that is often a bit scary for men. I was very lucky to have had a home birth, after Ezra was born I stayed in the pool for about half an hour while we waited for the placenta to come, this meant we had some great skin to skin contact. Once the placenta had been delivered I passed Ezra to Matt whilst I got cleaned up and checked over by the midwives. I then got comfy on the sofa and Ezra was laid on me for some more skin to skin and to start feeding. Matt made everyone pizza and tea and we had a really nice time chatting and eating while the midwives wrote up their notes. After about an hour the midwives checked Ezra over and then left shortly after (they returned in the evening to check we were ok and every day for ten days after the birth). I was able to have a shower in my own shower, get changed into whatever I chose out of my wardrobe and then snuggle on the sofa in front of the TV with Matt and Ezra... bliss!

I must say a huge thanks to the Royal Surrey Homebirth team - especially Jane, Tanya and Deana. They are all incredible women who put their job first and really make the people they are working with feel safe, secure and number one. I admire their dedication and think they should get far more recognition than they do.

If you missed the link at the beginning please take a look at Ezra's birth story in photographs here.

HypnoBirth Story

Those of you that follow me on twitter or like the Fertility2Birth HypnoBirth page on facebook will know that on Thursday I was privileged enough to attend the homebirth of a HypnoBirth couple that I had worked with. I was asked earlier in the year to be a birth partner for Cheryl and Rob and I jumped at the chance. I’d never been to a live birth before and I don’t think being an avid viewer of One Born Every Minute really means I have a good knowledge of what women experience during birth.

For the past month I’ve been waiting for that phone call from Cheryl, making sure my phone goes everywhere with me and is on loud at all possible times! Cheryl was convinced the baby was going to come early – to the point she almost ordered the birthing pool to arrive a month early, however as it was the baby came a few days late.

At 5.30am on Thursday 2 June I got THE phone call. Cheryl had been having ripples (what we call contractions in the Fertility2Birth world) since 3am. She was however still laughing, joking and sounding incredibly normal so we arranged for me to get there at 7am. This gave me enough time to get showered and nip to Tesco to get straws (essential birth item!), pineapple – well if it brings on labour it must keep it going too right?! Energy tablets, again another essential birth item and bananas to keep that energy up. Thankfully everything got used, the pineapple was eaten when I arrived, it turned out we only needed one straw not a pack of 200 but hey better to be safe than sorry. Cheryl was stuffing the energy tablets in like I’d never seen; the labour was making her feel as though she was going to be sick so although she wanted to keep her energy levels up she found it difficult to eat anything. Finally a banana on toast sorted Cheryl out once she had birthed the baby.

I drove to Cheryl and Rob’s house feeling incredibly mature and responsible. I wanted to stop people in the street and say “guess where I’m going” or “I’m going to watch a baby be born”. I knew it was just going to be a fantastic experience because I knew how much effort Cheryl and Rob had put into their HypnoBirthing.

When I arrived Cheryl was still laughing and very much her usual bubbly self. She was breathing through all the ripples in the exact way we had discussed and Rob was being very successful at making her laugh – one of the birth partner’s duties. I had downloaded a ripple (contraction) timer app onto my ipad so we knew the ripples were coming every 3 minutes and lasting approximately 45 seconds. At 7.30am the midwife phoned to see whether she should pop in before or after a 9.30am appointment that she had elsewhere. We agreed that she should come before. I was incredibly aware that HypnoBirth Mums are a lot calmer so it would be good to know how things were progressing instead of relying on a screaming Cheryl.

Tanya one of the midwives from the brand new Royal Surrey Hospital Home Birth team arrived at 8am. She found Cheryl in the same state as I had; calm, relaxed and giggly. Tanya pretty much said “you’re doing great, call me when you need me. I won’t be far away, probably see you this afternoon” but she offered to do an internal examination if Cheryl would like one. We thought it was probably a good idea and it was lovely to find out Cheryl was already 2-3cm dilated. Tanya said the same again “I’ll go off, call when you need me... see you later!” We had a brief conversation about what we should look for, again keeping in mind how calm and in control HypnoBirthing Mums often are. Tanya told us to call when Cheryl couldn’t talk in between ripples and also told us a trade secret. There was a pink line that started at the top of the crease of Cheryl’s buttocks. This, Tanya said would go a dark purple as she dilated more. We should keep checking that and call when it was a darker purple.

At 9am we were left as three again. Within 10 minutes things suddenly changed. The ripples became more intense and then Cheryl’s waters broke. Cheryl felt that she needed to wee so off she went to the toilet. Here we could clearly see the transition from the first stage to the second stage of labour. Knowing that a birthing woman is best left alone we did our best to leave her in the bathroom popping in every now and then to check she was ok. At this point Rob started to fill the birthing pool.

At 9.40am after a very intense 30 minutes the pool was ready and we helped Cheryl to get in. I reminded her to relax, talking her through all of her muscles and she became very calm again. At 10am Cheryl told me she needed to push, at this point poor Rob was rummaging through a cupboard trying to find a fan as Cheryl was so hot. I shouted to him that he needed to call the midwife, “ok I’m just trying to find the fan”... “No Rob I think you need to call now”... “Ok won’t be a minute”... “No Rob NOW”! He finally understood and called but Tanya’s phone went straight to answer phone! This wasn’t a problem as he just called Jane, head of the homebirth team, instead. Jane said she would leave the hospital immediately. It’s only ten minutes drive away so we knew she would be there very soon – especially if she put her foot down! – However at 10.30am she still hadn’t arrived and Cheryl was still pushing! At 10.40am we thought it best to call Jane again, thankfully she was just pulling into the road.

When Jane arrived Cheryl calmly told her what she was feeling, including the pushing. Jane said this was fantastic but she’d just do a quick internal examination to check everything was ok to push. Jane did this and in a surprised but happy way said “OK I can feel the head, push all you like”. This was fantastic news especially as Cheryl was still so calm. Tanya arrived at about 11am and we all spent the next hour really encouraging Cheryl. At approximately 11.50am after a huge sniff of Clary Sage (which is amazing during labour) everything intensified and at 12.07pm little Zara Walker was born into water as clear as it was when Cheryl got into the pool. Rob and I were a complete mess crying our eyes out. I think even the midwives had a little tear but Cheryl was just beaming at her brand new daughter. It really was a truly magical experience.

For those that don’t follow on facebook or twitter, or those that missed it I put together this lovely slideshow of pictures from the morning (click here). It’s very short but well worth a watch. If you are pregnant and not considering a HypnoBirth maybe this will change your mind – it really can make for an amazing birth experience. As babies born using HypnoBirth are more often than not gently and calmly breathed into the world at their own pace they tend to be calmer, feed better, sleep better and experience less trauma. Scientific research has also shown that the babies usually have higher Apgar scores as well.

One thing I would like to add is a big thanks to Cheryl and Rob for being so dedicated to the HypnoBirth. They did all of their homework religiously. We say to listen to one CD every day but Cheryl was listening to both of her CDs every day. Throughout the birth I kept hearing Rob saying little things that he had picked up from the HypnoBirthing and so well done Rob for listening and obviously doing your reading after the sessions. When I arrived all of their HypnoBirth pack was out on the table so they had obviously been looking through it in the days or weeks leading up to Thursday. Thank you, congratulations and well done Cheryl and Rob.

But I didn’t have a bad childhood

But I didn’t have a bad childhood

For many people the word therapy is a little bit taboo. Only people with issues go for therapy right? I have been told by someone that their mother didn’t like the fact they were having therapy because the counsellor would “make me think I’d had a bad childhood”. What is this thing that many therapists have about bad childhoods? I have personal experience of this as when training to become a hypnotherapist I was told “you must’ve had bad things happen in your childhood” I replied with no I don’t think I really did (what constitutes bad anyway?). This was in a room full of people all looking at me. I was then told “you must have because you are blushing”. Well yes, many people would blush if put on the spot like that in front of many other people.

I didn’t have bad things happen to me in my childhood and I am not someone who thinks that everyone had bad things happen to them. I do however think that everyone has had a negative reaction to something when growing up that has resulted in some kind of issue in adult life (be it a lack of confidence, weight issues, control problems, addictions etc). This is why I use regression in many of my hypnotherapy sessions. When I say regression I mean that I allow the client to go back to a time prior to today to find out and resolve some of these things that could have created certain behaviours today. I certainly don’t lead the client to a particular time in life – even childhood (which is where most regression therapists would say the client has to go). I also do not use past life regression, though I have been trained to do so.

My problem with regression is that for many therapists the purpose is to find awful things that happened to the client during their childhood. This frustrates me, as does the thought process of many that memories of sexual abuse (that the client had no idea of before) will be found. There is a problem with using regression – false memory syndrome. This is when a person is affected by “memories” uncovered using recovered memory therapies (such as regression) which are not true memories. Wikipedia (the fountain of all knowledge!) says:

“Recovered memory therapy is used to describe the therapeutic processes and methods that are believed to create false memories and false memory syndrome. These methods include hypnosis, sedatives and probing questions where the therapist believes repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse or other traumatic events are the cause of their client's problems.”

In the above definition childhood sexual abuse crops up. When you look on the website of the False Memory Syndrome Foundation there is again a lot of talk on the subject of child abuse. Unfortunately I have spoken to lots of therapists who often say things like “ah yes that problem is related to sex” or something along the lines of sexual abuse. It is no wonder we have this problem of false memory syndrome when so many therapists think everything is related to a bad childhood ... and what is a bad childhood?

In my years of working with clients I have never experienced anyone recover memories of sexual abuse, I have also never had anyone experience a hugely dramatic abreaction (this is where someone relives an experience – often in hypnosis – and releases emotions that were repressed at the time). Yes I have clients get upset and sometimes angry but never what I was given the impression I would see prior to becoming qualified. What I have seen however is clients reliving positive experiences, many of those seeing me for weight loss therapy remember happy times with family or friends at big social events where food was always involved; big feasts during holiday periods or at weekends or treats for behaving all day. Childhood experiences that mean the adult often reaches for food to relive the feelings felt at these times, but great childhood experiences. There was even someone who once said to me “Juliet, you have helped me find the old me”. This particular person had remembered times of fun, energetic outings, holidays and parties with friends... very different to the depressed adult that was sat in front of me. For me using regression in my way means going back to previous experiences, sometimes releasing emotion, reframing experiences from an adult point of view or learning coping techniques but many times finding happy, positive memories. I am yet to work with a client that finds memories of big things, such as sexual abuse that they didn’t know had ever happened, someone will often say “I’d forgotten all about that” but in my opinion if someone has been abused physically or mentally they know about it, they may have suppressed each individual episode of abuse but they know they were abused.

When I use regression with a client I am not searching for memories that are not known, I am not even searching for negative memories, nor always childhood memories. In fact, in my opinion many of the thoughts and memories ‘recovered’ could be spoken about and relived in a normal conversation. However, for me, the hypnosis helps my clients to feel relaxed, lose inhibitions and to feel that they are in their own world. It is common for someone to say to me “I can’t believe I told you all that” but the relaxation and eye closure helps my clients to feel confident and comfortable speaking about things that are bothering them or have bothered them in the past, perhaps things they find embarrassing and would not ordinarily speak about. Whether these thoughts and memories have been suppressed or not talking about things helps the majority of people. I always spend a lot of time at the beginning of a session explaining to the client that we are not necessarily looking for negative memories just things that they could have reacted to in a negative way, after all a parent may love and care for their child so much that they are over protective. Unfortunately that often results in an adult with confidence issues as they have been brought up indirectly being told that they are not safe anywhere or capable of looking after themselves. Is this a bad childhood? I don’t think so. I am also very careful to make sure my clients do not leave blaming their parents for their issues today. In the majority of cases our parents always do what they think is best for us, what they believe at the time to be right or doing all they can to the best of their ability. As explained above (with the over protective parent) this can result in an adult with ‘issues’ but it is not the fault of the parent it is simply because every person is an individual and the way things are perceived at the time is not always the way they were meant. This does not mean, in my opinion, we all had bad childhoods.

Does it matter if I fall asleep?

Last week I got asked a question that I often get asked by clients. Does it matter if I fall asleep? My answer, yes it does! This question was put to me by a client to whom I’d just given a CD, she was wondering if she listened to it and fell asleep half way through would it still have the same affect. My personal opinion is no it won’t.

Some hypnotherapists may say that it doesn’t matter if you sleep during hypnotherapy for the subconscious never sleeps. This is true, we still digest food when asleep, we still breathe and we even dream however I suspect there are very few people that would learn French solely by listening to a learn French CD every night whilst they slept.

I have two arguments for sleep not being an ideal state of mind for hypnotherapy to take place. My first point is simply why do we use hypnosis if a sleep state would be fine? Surely we would be sleep therapists. Although the word hypnosis is derived from the Greek word hypnos, meaning to sleep the two are in fact very different states of mind. Dave Elman (one of the ‘heros of hypnosis’) apparently said:

"Sleep and hypnosis are really two entirely different states. They are not compatible, when the hypnosis precedes the sleep. Those of you who are doctors know from your medical studies that in sleep the bodily functions slow down. Respiration gets slower and deeper, blood pressure and heart action slow down, reflex action slows down. In hypnosis, you will sometimes find the mildest of slowdowns, but most of the time, none at all. In sleep the mental processes slow down considerably, and in deep sleep, there is an apparent loss of consciousness. This does not occur in hypnosis.

"If you test reflex action in hypnosis, you will find it quite normal. Respiration does not decrease; heart action remains normal; blood pressure remains normal. It is true that these functions can be made to slow down by suggestion, but you can't get them all to slow down simultaneously as occurs in natural sleep. Despite appearances, it is impossible to fuse these two dissimilar states—the normally functioning body in hypnosis and the slow functioning body in sleep.”

As a hypnotherapist I do not want to induce sleep, hypnosis is focused attention with deep relaxation. I want my clients to be consciously aware (focused attention) but relaxed, which leads me onto my next point.

During the vast majority of hypnotherapy sessions with me the clients have input. They will be speaking, answering my questions, telling me things that they have thought about, if we are instilling anchors making actions with their hands – generally very much an active part of the session. I rarely have a client sit in my room and just listen to me for an hour but this does sometimes happen and it is what happens when my clients listen to their CDs. However, even though during these times the client is not participating in a way that anyone would be aware; in my opinion they are participating hugely. Much of the time will be spent asking the client to visualise certain things, maybe asking them to get a feeling into their mind and body, perhaps asking them to recall a previous experience. All of these things, in my opinion, take conscious awareness. When in hypnosis the subconscious mind is much more at the fore however we are not switching the conscious mind off totally (again the difference between hypnosis and sleep is highlighted). I want my clients to be consciously aware, although I sometimes want them to just allow thoughts to come naturally from the subconscious there are also times that I am quite happy for the conscious mind to get involved. For example when I ask the client to imagine themselves in the future if they change the way they eat, here a bit of conscious logic may be required. I am certainly not suggesting that the conscious mind is the part of the mind we want to work with during hypnosis – again that would go against the general view of what hypnosis is and why we use hypnosis (to access the subconscious mind) but I definitely think some conscious awareness is required. If a client falls asleep during hypnosis they have lost the ‘focused attention’ part of hypnosis. They are simply deeply relaxed. I also believe that being consciously aware of what happened in the session (or remembering what was on the CD) will help my clients in day to day situations. Although the purpose of hypnotherapy is to help the client make positive changes without the need for will power; in my opinion remembering (being consciously aware of) the image of oneself dying from a smoking related illness Vs the image of vibrant health achieved from stopping smoking goes a long way when deciding whether to smoke another cigarette as does the image of maggots over the chocolate when deciding whether to eat that next bar of dairy milk!

There are only two instances in which I would be more than happy for my clients to fall asleep whilst listening to one of my therapy CDs, if they had come to see me to help them sleep better at night or if they had come to see me for relaxation.

If anyone disagrees I have a learn French CD right here, I challenge you to listen to it every night whilst you sleep for a few months and then come to me with all that you have learnt. I will happily be proven wrong as there are a few things I would love to learn but just don’t have the time!

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What is natural nowadays?

Natural – what is natural nowadays? So many cosmetic products have natural written all over them. Others use colour or images to suggest that they are natural. Even some foods have natural written on them but what does this really mean? Research seems to state that there are not any legal standards for what constitutes a natural food product. It seems to be the same rules for natural cosmetics. So why do producers use the word natural and how do we as consumers fall into their trap? Most of us want to be as healthy as possible, both inside and out but we’re not really sure how to do it. We hear the five a day rule for fruit and vegetables and we try and stick to it but often that is as far as our health knowledge goes. When we see something that suggests it is natural, either by writing the word natural on it or using packaging to indicate this we jump at it. As more and more manufacturers become aware of this marketing tool more and more products are being advertised as natural. In my opinion it won’t be long before all cosmetics have the word natural on them and all food products use packaging to suggest they are natural. Is this our mistake as consumers though? Are we misinterpreting the word natural? I don’t think so. For me natural means taken from a natural source with no modification, for example the ‘natural’ face wash could be made with oatmeal and milk, yet somehow when I go shopping I am drawn to the more natural looking products. Recently I have learnt that natural does not mean natural and I now base my purchasing decisions on other factors. Are you doing the same? I think manufacturers could be shooting themselves in the foot. As others learn that natural does not mean natural they too will purchase items for other reasons. There is also the thought that on some occasions we may not want natural. What if I want to buy something for a special occasion that has been modified to produce a better flavour or perhaps better results? What if the real natural product hasn’t helped reduce the redness of my spot or the natural wine doesn’t taste as good as the normal wine? Would I then opt for the product that doesn’t suggest it’s natural even though it may contain exactly the same ingredients as the product next to it with natural written all over it? Be careful manufacturers sometimes taking something too far can produce negative results!

Juliet Hollingsworth

Running away from success

Fear of success... really? I hear you ask. It is really quite a common thing to be scared of success. Success tests people, it can show weaknesses or flaws and it’s scary. Sometimes it’s just easier to carry on right where you are – plodding along, staying in the safe zone. A sign of a fear of success is self sabotage. Procrastinating, making excuses for why you can’t do what you need to do. Pushing snooze on the alarm so that you arrive late for an important event. Those that have a fear of success do not necessarily realise it.

You see, we all know how to cope with failure, we can all work failure. There is the sadness, then if we are lucky we can talk ourselves out of that “well it wasn’t meant to be”, “something else will come along”, “there’s always next time”. We pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get on with the next big thing. What happens however if we succeed? How do we deal with that success? When one is successful there is often not anyone to follow, success can bring leadership – this can be scary as with leadership comes responsibility.

Sometimes a fear of success is brought about by a feeling of not being worthy of that success. A feeling of not being good enough, the success may come along naturally but are you running away from it? To achieve success the first step is to recognise that you are good enough and that you do deserve that success. Everyone deserves success; and anyone who works hard to achieve it deserves it even more. If the success comes your way then you must be good enough.

The first thing to do is work out where you really want to be. Then a plan needs to be put into place to remove all of the sabotage habits that have built up. Focus on the success, the positive aspects of the success and steer away from the fears that surround it. Get your plan in order – write a list and begin to see the wood through the trees. Start with the first thing on the list or at the beginning of your plan. There is no need to think about what you do not want to happen, it is fine to simply focus on what we do want to happen.

Use visualisation tricks to see yourself as the successful person you want to be, feel how it feels to be that person, and start to believe that you are that person. As the positive patterns become habit the previous habits will start to disappear, every step in your path to success will help you to realise that it is not so scary after all, and the fear of success will begin to evaporate.

Juliet Hollingsworth Hypnotherapy

Natural Birthing

On 6 January 2011 I googled the word natural, the second entry to appear was Medical Videos - Natural Vaginal Child Birth Delivery Video ... If you click on the link (beware it is quite graphic!) you will see that this links to a five minute video of a natural birth. This is the Natural Vaginal Child Birth Delivery Video. 2,792 people have liked this video and shared it on facebook suggesting that there are many people out there who like the idea of a natural birth. In our society today it is all too easy to opt for drugs to relieve pain or even elect for a caesarean in order to not have to ‘go through’ a labour experience.

Understandably there are births that come with complications and require medical intervention such as a delivery aided by forceps or ventouse or even an emergency caesarean but if this is not medically necessary is there a better way? I recently read an article on the Mail Online website Maternity meltdown: A devastating firsthand account of the chaos on wards - and why overweight mums are partly to blame. The article talks about staff shortages on labour wards and how this is becoming a major problem. The author does suggest that the number of births in the hospital that she works in has more than doubled over the past couple of years but she also says that a woman who is about to give birth and has been given an epidural is meant to be monitored constantly. Nowadays so many women are asking for epidurals surely this must take up much needed time as the midwives monitor these women continually. Having an epidural can also slow down labour so the women need to be looked after for longer periods.

The majority of pregnant woman avoid certain chemicals such as those in cigarettes and alcohol during pregnancy. There are also certain medications that pregnant woman should refrain from taking along with a selection of foods. A question I always ask is, why when having kept away from all of these things for 40 weeks would you then go and give your baby a shot of a chemical that in normal circumstances you would not let anywhere near you? Pethadine for example is a synthetic form of morphine. Diacetylmorphine (better known as heroin) was synthesized from morphine in 1874 and brought to market by Bayer in 1898. Yet many women - justifiably - find the pain of childbirth too difficult to experience and at the last minute are happy to be injected with these chemicals and in turn pass the chemical onto the baby. In some cases the fear associated with the pain could result in a prolonged labour and the pain relief/medical intervention become necessary but wouldn’t it be worth trying something else to help avoid this situation? Having a natural birth can be an amazing experience; using HypnoBirth can help to achieve a natural birth, most couples that have used the Fertility2Birth HypnoBirth programme have achieved the natural birth they so desired. For the mother, a natural birth increases the probability of an easier, healthier recovery due to no chemicals in the body, cutting of the perineum bruises from IV lines, or severe headache or backache due to side effect of epidurals. For the baby, a natural birth reduces the exposure to chemicals. A natural birth also reduces the likelihood of needing to separate the infant from its mother after birth, important for successful breastfeeding and bonding. Surely it’s worth a go to avoid taking in these chemicals, to avoid passing the chemicals on to your baby and to help out those busy midwives. You never know you might be able to tell your baby that his or her entrance to the world was an enjoyable magical experience.

Juliet Hollingsworth

Fertility & birth specialist at On Harley Street

Spontaneous Birth Reflex / Maternal-Fetal Ejection Reflex / Natural Expulsive Reflex

Spontaneous Birth Reflex / Maternal-Fetal Ejection Reflex / Natural Expulsive Reflex

Research taken from:

ACDM ~ California College of Midwives ~

Characteristics of Clinical Competency

June 2001 Technical Bulletin #5

~ Maternal-Fetal Ejection Reflex ~

Designer Genes program a natural “labor saving devise”, the fruit of a physically and psychologically undisturbed labor in a healthy mother



There is a large difference between undisturbed spontaneous labour and birth. At a spontaneous birth (and by spontaneous I mean where the birth is undisturbed, natural and ‘with the body’) the spontaneity can be seen as a naturally advancing process combining biological and psychological resources making the birth tolerable for the woman and safe for the baby. It is accompanied by a dramatic increase in childbirth specific hormones – endogenous oxytocins – to stimulate uterine activity and beta endorphins (the source of the “runner’s high”) providing natural pain relief for the mother. Maternal hormones also trigger hormone production in the foetus to prepare it to breathe independently and maintain its body temperature after birth. The understanding of this reveals the problems that can arise when trying to provide medical care to a large percentage of healthy women who, if undisturbed, will have labours graced by a “labour-saving” mechanism -- the spontaneous birth reflex.



In recognising this phenomenon Dr. Michael O’Dont first named it the Fetal Ejection Reflex. It is now common to add the word Maternal to the name to make it clear that the baby does not, independent of the mother eject itself from the body but rather the birthing mother allows the spontaneous energy to run through her to safely birth the baby. Dr O’Dont was trying to identify the biological mechanism responsible for rapid, apparently easy deliveries. The normal spontaneous birth reflex is the “physiological” process (biology + psychology) that makes birth mechanically successful, physically tolerable for the birthing mother and safe for the baby. At a certain time after the cervix is fully dilated the mother experiences a dramatic event in which the body simultaneous opens up (relaxes normal muscle resistance) while forcefully propelling her foetus downward. This reflex overcomes the usual soft tissue resistance and takes advantage of momentum to press the baby down and out. This reflex has the exact same biological chain of events as vomiting but in the opposite direction. It is a natural response similar to a reverse sneeze, or the way our body naturally moves food through itself. Historically speaking it was the inclination of second or more time birthing mothers to have very quick births that scared obstetricians and caused them to bring mothers in early and induce them by artificially rupturing the membranes.



A crucial part of the Maternal Fetal Ejection Reflex (MFER) is the psychological comfort of the mother. Michael O’Dont described this as creating psychological circumstances for the mother so she “feels secure and unobserved at the same time”. He observed that the birth attendant’s first responsibility is not to disturb the natural process. For many mothers her need to be undisturbed is balanced by an equally powerful need to be in the right place and have family members of great psychological importance, as well as the doctor or midwife present, before she can permit, at least at a subconscious level, the labour process to unfold. For those who prefer hospital care, these mothers must have arrived at the hospital before the MFER can complete itself.



The MFER is a constant exception to the rules of labour as expressed by Friedman’s Curve*, which graphically represents labour as a relentlessly slow and painful process. Most importantly, this linear concept sees labour and birth as solely dependent on hard work and the ability of the mother to tolerate the pain rather than using her internal resources to help with or surrender to her labour. The picture society has of labour and delivery is one of incredible effort in which the mother labours with slow incremental progress. The MFER is almost the opposite of that expectation. While it is impossible to predict who will experience the MFER many birth attendants have observed that a calm or confident mother is more likely to do so than a fearful, anxious one who feels greatly unsure of herself or is afraid of birth.



A true MFER appears to provide the calm that can only be matched in a medical setting through the use of an epidural. Often (but not always) the MFER is enhanced by submerging the mother in deep water after she has reached 5cm dilatation and letting her and her husband or partner focus together with as few caregiver interruptions as possible (vaginal examinations for example). Dr O’Dont describes this as permitting the mother to feel secure and unobserved at the same time. Unfortunately this spontaneous birth reflex is easily disturbed and often (but not always) obliterated by medication during the delivery period.



The MFER appears to represent in birth what sex researchers Drs Master and Johnson identified as the orgasmic plateau, that is to say a state of being during which an overriding internal mechanism triggers a series of discrete but perfectly timed and attuned events of physiology which fire off in domino fashion when the conditions are right. Hence the term orgasmic birth. At this point it is a natural reflex and happens regardless of the individual’s wishes so, during labour this means that even if contractions seem painful or the mother is clearly anxious, the labour will be briskly moving and result in a normal spontaneous vaginal delivery without anaesthesia and often, without significant perineal trauma, perhaps even before the doctor or midwife arrives.



The MFER is very much a primitive natural instinct and it is the neo-cortex part of the brain (the most recently developed) along with the disruptions of a disturbed birth (examinations, bright lights, loud noises, unfamiliar people etc) that can prevent the MFER from happening as birthing mothers often feel very far from “secure and unobserved”. The MFER is often not recognised as it can follow a lengthy and even painful latent stage. For hospital births it may include both induction and epidural before this fast-finish. The MFER often comes at the end of a long, psychologically difficult latent phase, it is not necessarily perceived by either the mother or the midwife as a “fast birth”. There are five elements for a successful normal spontaneous vaginal birth and a long latent phase appears to set up the circumstances so that all five elements are present. The five elements required are as follows:



1. A healthy Mother, a normal pregnancy & a spontaneous onset of labour at term

2. An understanding of the physiological and psychological aspects of spontaneous labour and birth by both parents and practitioners

3. Physiologically appropriate response by family and professional caregivers to the normal physical, biological and gravitational demands of spontaneous labour and birth

4. Psychologically appropriate response by family and professional caregivers to the emotional and psychological needs of the mother to the normal stresses and sensations of labour and birth

5. Willingness of the mother to accept pressure of uterine contraction and the anxiety of not knowing how much harder the process may be or how much longer the process may take.



– The absence or severe dysfunction of any of these elements can generate symptoms that may ultimately require medical or surgical intervention



Unfortunately for most women nowadays, undisturbed labour in which all five elements can be present is rarely seen.









*Dr. Friedman did his residency in the 1950s. He was not a man to suffer fools gladly and he considered a lot of his superiors to be fools. He felt that they made medical judgments based on their intuition and not on science, so he set out to accumulate the research data necessary to give the profession a firm scientific foundation.

Dr. Friedman used his spare time to compile detailed observations about every labouring woman who came through his hospital. His aim was to find out what ‘normal’ labour looked like. Using observations from tens of thousands of women, he created a curve. Women who followed the curve were almost certain to have a vaginal delivery. Women who fell off the curve were more likely to need a C-section.

Dr. Friedman was the first to say that you should not section a woman in latent phase (when contractions have started but the first stage of labour has not yet been reached) because a long latent phase was not a sign that the baby doesn't fit. He insisted that you should not section a woman in the active phase of labour unless she failed to make a certain amount of progress in a certain amount of time. When Dr. Friedman used to tell stories about the genesis of the curve, he would express the utmost disgust for doctors who would say, "She looks like a C-section to me".

Dr. Friedman was very anti forceps. He concluded, correctly, that forceps hurt babies and should be banned. He used to travel around the country testifying for the families of children who had been injured by forceps. When he would appear, the family would win.








http://www.joyousbirth.info/forums/showthread.php?t=41731&pagenumber=


Juliet Hollingsworth

Fertility & Birth Specialist at On Harley Street

Fertility2Birth HypnoBirth Programme

Fertility2Birth Fertility Programme

Habits are hard to break....

Habits are hard to break....

Or are they? According to Wikipedia habits are routines of behaviour that are repeated regularly and tend to occur subconsciously, without one being conscious about them. Habitual behaviour often goes unnoticed in persons exhibiting it, because a person does not need to engage in self-analysis when undertaking routine tasks.

We were not born with habits; habits are simply something we learnt to do. Smokers – do you remember the first time you smoked? I am sure you did not enjoy that first taste of smoking, yet you learnt how to smoke. Nail biters, more difficult to remember the first time it was done but was it really that enjoyable to want to do it again? Or was it something that made you feel secure in a nervous situation? Or maybe gave you something to do with your hands when bored. The list of common habits could go on and on but the one thing that is similar across the board is that the owner of the habit would feel weird if they didn’t ‘do’ their habit. For example, the smoker would feel weird and not know what to do with their hands whilst standing with other smokers. The nail biter may feel more anxious in a nervous situation without biting their nails. Another thing that is quite common is for the habit to involve the hands, smoking, thumb sucking, nose picking, nail biting, hair twirling. These habits are generally thought of to be nervous habits. There are more involved habits such as tics; vocal or motor. These can be more complex and can stem from muscle tension or medical disorders so are often solved in a different way.

The reason the body feels weird when not doing the habit is because it has become a learned reaction. If you are a driver you will know that if you are in the passenger seat and the person driving the car gets a bit too close to the car in front your foot will try and push down on the imaginary brake pedal in front of you. This is a learned reaction; as is putting your knife and fork in the correct hands when you sit down to eat. Learned reactions are things that we were not born knowing how to do but become as instinctual as natural reactions such as excessive breathing whilst exercising. To try and stop learned reactions can be as weird as trying to stop a natural reaction as the subconscious mind has learnt to automatically react in this way. The conscious part of our mind is the area that controls things we are aware of, the subconscious things we are not aware of. Once a habit is formed it is being controlled by the subconscious mind. Therefore to break the habit we have to become aware of it, this is where will power comes in. Will power is great – when it works. With will power you are willing yourself to do something, therefore you need to keep reminding yourself what it is you are trying to achieve, this has its own problems. To continually remind yourself what you are trying to achieve you have to think about what it is you want to stop yourself doing. This can become a battle in your own mind as you consciously tell yourself that you do not want to bite your nails again / smoke another cigarette / suck your thumb whilst your subconscious mind keeps trying to do what it is you consciously do not want to do. When in hypnosis the subconscious mind is open. Just like when you are asleep and your subconscious mind takes over, allowing you to continue breathing and functioning whilst dreaming and resting the hypnotic state is very similar. When in hypnosis one is not asleep but just on the edge of sleep. Perfectly calm and relaxed with the subconscious wide open ready to accept any suggestions that it chooses to accept. Hypnosis can help, so that habits are not hard to break. When using hypnosis to overcome a habit the therapist will give you suggestions that break the link between your thoughts and the habit, allowing you to stop the habit for good without the need for will power.

Harley Street Hypnotherapy

I have recently become part of a brand new clinic in Harley Street. At On Harley Street a very warm welcome awaits you, we are a group of therapists brought together by our dedication and passion to our specialist areas of work and by our commitment to bringing you the very best level of care and professional service.

On Harley Street provides a multi-disciplinary approach to its clients, offering you choice, experience and a holistic approach to your needs. The clinic has actively sought out professionals at the top of their field, with years of experience in their chosen specialist area, giving you the confidence and peace of mind that you are in the best hands. Whilst I can see you for other reasons at Harley Street I am the Fertility and HypnoBirth specialist; there to help you if you are struggling to conceive, many people do not realise that psychological health is almost more important when trying to conceive than physical. Or are already pregnant and want to experience what is known as the Spontaneous Birth Reflex/Maternal Foetal Ejection Reflex. An amazing natural reflex only experienced during the calmest, most natural births in which the baby is expelled rapidly and safely with minimal pain just as nature intended.

Although, when we work together you will always get treated in a special way, seeing me at my Harley Street practice means you will have your sessions in a central location within luxurious, tranquil surroundings. The service you will receive when arriving at On Harley Street will be second to none truly allowing you to feel comfortable in this prestigious environment.

HypnoGastricBand in Australia

Something very exciting happened this month as we welcomed four new practitioners from Sydney, Australia.

We now have over thirty practitioners across the country and worldwide! If you would like to lose weight easily and without dieting seek out your local practitioner now! Or are you a hypnotherapist that would like to become a practitioner? Email me for details.

Chilean Miners - Is the world cruel to some or is it the way we perceive things?

Chilean Miners - Is the world cruel to some or is it the way we perceive things?

Much of my work with clients involves helping others to deal with situations in a different, more positive way. Recently I have seen two examples of how people in identical situations can react very differently. There are some people in the world who often feel that they have been dealt an unfair hand, is this so or is it just that people react differently to situations? I try to help others see the positive in everything and this is the way I choose to live my life.

I wonder if you can see where this is going! Recently the world watched as 33 Chilean miners were rescued from the mine in which they had been trapped for over 69 days. During the rescue one thing that stuck in my mind was the specific order in which they were rescued. This order was determined by their psychological well being. Thirty three men that had been through an identical situation yet each one had a different reaction. Some were incredibly strong and appeared almost unaffected by the experience, others suffered awfully - yet they had all been through exactly the same thing. Juan Illanes, the third miner to be rescued, when asked what his time in the rescue shaft was like replied “like a cruise”, what a fantastically positive reaction. There are many reasons (which I may go into at a later date) that some people feel more able to cope with certain situations sometimes without seeing a problem at all, whilst others find the same situation taking over their life until whatever has happened is resolved.

Another example was in an episode of Ben Fogle’s Extreme Dreams, a group were led on a twelve day trek through the Guyana jungle to reach an amazing view of the Kaiteur Falls. There was one member of the team who victimised himself, he argued with the team daily, he continually diminished the morale of the team and on the last day when they were only half a kilometer away from the end began complaining saying he could not go on, giving every excuse possible why it was more difficult for him than the others. Again an example of someone in an identical situation to others yet felt he was in a worse situation.

Some people are lucky and naturally see the positive in situations; some have used techniques such as NLP or hypnosis to change the way they view life so that everything that happens can be turned into an opportunity, there are however a lot of people that don’t know (yet) that we can choose how to feel about situations, we can choose to feel that something is a problem, choose to allow something to cause us anxiety, choose to allow something to cause stress OR we can learn some powerful techniques to bounce through life, to let problems skim the outside but not penetrate into us. Choose to life a happy positive life where we give a nonchalant wave of our hand and say its fine.

Derren Brown – Hero at 30,000ft

Over the weekend I managed to catch Derren Brown’s latest TV show Hero at 30,000 feet (http://www.channel4.com/programmes/derren-brown-the-specials/4od#3120303). I absolutely loved the programme and want to highlight the way in which his work in this programme is pretty much the same as my work as a hypnotherapist (only I’m yet to help anyone land an aeroplane!)

If you didn’t see the programme try and watch it using the above link as it is really good viewing. To cut a long story short Derren started with a man who was pretty weak in character. He was stuck in a rut, a dead end job still living at home with his parents and generally not doing what he wanted in life. Over the period of a month Derren worked with the man to help him transform his life. Only the man didn’t know this was happening.

Derren started by giving the man certain challenges. The first was to put him right in the middle of an armed robbery. As a hypnotherapist I know that when in shock or confused the brain goes into a state where it is more able to accept suggestions. The ‘robber’ (who was of course an actor) said to the man as he was leaving the scene “you’ve done nothing with your life”. This had a big impact on the man so much so that he mentioned it to the ‘shopkeeper’ (also an actor) later on.

A couple of times throughout the month Derren woke the man from his sleep, having fitted discrete speakers in his bedroom. He called the man down to the garden and spoke to him. Again I know that hypnosis is the stage before sleep. If you look at brainwaves, when one is in a normal, alert awake state they are in beta, alpha is a relaxed state, maybe taking a walk in the garden. Theta is a daydream like state, theta is also the hypnotic state. Have you ever arrived at a destination after having driven a route you drive often and realised that you can’t remember driving the last five miles?! This is you in a hypnotic state and also your brainwaves in theta. Lastly delta, this is the sleep state. I have just explained to you here that hypnosis is the state just before sleep and the state in which we can be awake but forget what we have been doing. This explains how Derren was able to wake his subject from sleep, ask him to get dressed and walk downstairs out into the garden, speak to him and then have him forget it in the morning. It should be noted that Derren also mentioned that the man was highly suggestible – a plus for any hypnotist! Derren spoke to the man about what he should be doing with his life, said some things that would make him think about life in general (what a miracle it is and how we should make the most of every opportunity etc) and got him to touch a crocodile on the back!

The final challenge (there were others) was to have the man lay on a train track in a straight jacket with a train hurtling towards him. Now I am sure there was some camera trickery here and the man did not manage to jump up with the train only one inch away from him but even if the train was a mile away from me I would be shitting it – excuse the language here but I most definitely would! All of these challenges helped the man to learn how to take risks and also to appreciate life a little more.

The final challenge showed the man offering to land an aeroplane that he thought was crashing. I am sure there are people confused about the fact that Derren managed to keep a man in a hypnotic state or maybe asleep for long enough to land the plane, get him to a simulator and begin the experience but remember what I have told you. The man is highly suggestible, he was in shock (he thought his plane was going to crash) and he had experienced this feeling a few times already over the previous few weeks – he was the hypnotist’s dream subject. Of course the man did it; he landed the plane safely although he was told exactly what to do step by step – perhaps, in reality, not as difficult as it sounds.

Over the month what Derren did was helped the man to see things from a different perspective. He helped the man to find the resources within himself to make the changes in his life. He helped him to see that risk isn’t always so bad and that things he may have feared in the past were not so scary. He helped him to have experiences that gave him good feelings (for example organising a street party), things like this would have made him want to go on and do more of the same to get the same good feelings. The hypnosis was just an add on, a bit of a helping hand if you like. Hypnotherapy is all about you finding the strength within yourself to make the changes you so desire.

All hypnosis is self hypnosis, you cannot be hypnotised if you do not want to be, I cannot make you do anything you do not want to do – however if it is something you want to do and you allow yourself to be hypnotised your brain will be ready and willing to accept those suggestions that are thrown at you. You too can start to make some amazing changes in your life, just like Matt from Derren’s show.

Size 14 trapped in a size 12 body ©

Sometimes when I tell people my clothes size – not that I do this often I must add, maybe just if they are buying me a top, or I’m ordering a t-shirt for a run perhaps – I tell them I’m a size 12 and immediately feel the devil on my left shoulder cackling “hahahaha you aren’t a size 12, you’re a size 14 really. You just want them to THINK you’re a size 12”. I feel like people are looking at me thinking is she mad – surely she is bigger than a size 12.

I, am a size 14 trapped in a size 12 body.

My brain tells me I’m a size 14 but my body shows otherwise. Since finding this revelation I have started to use it as metaphor in my work. Just yesterday I was speaking with a client. As a child she had a very poor standard of living. She was often hungry and didn’t have particularly nice clothes. Today she always looks beautiful; however she is that poor dishevelled child in the body of a lovely, bubbly beautifully dressed woman. If we live with something for too long, when we become what we want to be we can sometimes forget to leave behind the thoughts and feelings that came with what we were.

We feel what we are but others see what we are. Therefore, even though we may still feel how we used to look others are seeing what we are today. A little tip to leave you with – fake it; If you don’t feel the way you look pretend you do, other people won’t guess you are not quite as confident. It will make you feel better as you radiate confidence and happiness and reap the rewards that come with this. If this doesn’t help come and see me ;-)

©Copyright Juliet Hollingsworth 2010

A Favela Story

Rocinha Favela is one of the largest favelas in South America. According to Zezinho, the resident who kindly showed us around it has around 300,000 habitants. Yesterday we spent eleven hours ‘hanging out’ with Zezinho, in the favela.
In the morning we met Zezinho by the beach and he took us in a minibus to the bottom of the favela. We then got mototaxis (moped taxis) to near the top of the hill where there was the most amazing view. At the top of the hill we bumped into a young Brazilian couple that live in Gavea, apparently a rich district in Rio. The guy was saying how he wanted to rent a house in Rocinha near to where we were standing. He said how much he loves Rocinha. Why does everyone who visits love Rocinha is what I wanted to know!
Within about 10 minutes of beginning our walk back down the hill a lady started shouting at us from her rooftop. Zezinho said to us that she was inviting us on to her roof. Of course we went up. When we reached the roof of the two story building the lady, Maria, told us how she was building another floor onto the roof that would have three rooms, on the veranda of the below floor she was going to have a swimming pool. We later learnt that she had paid £30,000 for the house as it was, just two small rooms, it’s certainly not just shacks in the favela!
We ended up spending over three hours at Maria’s house. This is where we learnt the most about the people of the favela. I can however only speak for the people we met, the favela we went to and their side of the story. When we walked into the house there was a little boy sat in a tub full of water in the bathroom. As we sat down Maria’s daughter got him out of the tub and got him dressed. The first thing that struck me was how clean it was inside the house. It was either cleaning day or she cleaned daily. It would only later occur to me that if I was going to have around twenty guests a day I would probably be permanently cleaning too! It smelt lovely, a freshly cleaned house. The daughter who looked about fifteen but we later learnt was actually eighteen brought the little boy in and sat down with us all. Everyone was speaking in Portuguese and shamefully we did not understand a word but Zezinho translated for us. There was another woman there who was the cousin of Maria. Zezinho asked whether the little boy was Maria’s son or her grandson. It turned out he was her grandson, the son of the young looking girl. There is apparently a problem of teen pregnancies in the favela as there is in certain areas of the UK. When Zezinho asked the girl how old she was when she had her son (fifteen) she looked extremely embarrassed. The mother said she had been very naughty doing what she did but we laughed with her as she giggled in embarrassment, shamefully covering her face. We then got into a discussion about how the daughter is still in school and the mother looks after the son. We started talking about the life of people outside the favela and the life in the favela. It is this that I found really important and wish that everyone from our western society could come and in see these people like I did.
During the time we were at Maria’s house five different people came in to visit. Not being able to fully understand the language I wasn’t quite sure who everyone was and why they were there but I pretty much got the jist that they were all family in some form, cousins/daughters etc and they were just there to say hi. Coincidently I am reading Gilda O’Neill’s book Our Street at the moment which is all about the East End Community during the Second World War. My Nan, having grown up just off Brick Lane often talks to me about these times and how every house was an open house and how families always lived minutes walk away from each other if not in the same house. I got the impression that living in the favela is just like this. The lady told us that her grandson may not grow up with the luxuries of life that we in the western world do but he would grow up with a lot of love. Every single visitor that entered the house went and gave Victor Hugo a big hug before they did anything. Now we were only in the house for three hours. Goodness knows how many other visitors would turn up in the time we weren’t there but I imagine it is like this every day for families in the favela. Victor Hugo would grow up with a huge amount of love. If he had a problem there would always be someone there to listen. It wouldn’t be a case of “Later I have to finish this piece of work” as is often the case in the Western World. Now Victor Hugo may not grow up with the opportunities many of us have but I expect he will grow up with far less ‘issues’ than you and I. Victor Hugo at three years old already knew how to use a computer. He would go down to the local internet cafe and msn his friends. He certainly wasn’t suffering in intelligence without the opportunities of the western world!
A big thing that was spoken about was how the people living in the favela work hard but they also play hard. There was huge emphasis on enjoying life. Big parties, spilling into the street every Thursday to Sunday. I really try to encourage many of my clients to think about the work life balance. It is something very important that we seem to have lost in our society today. When I sit with my clients and really make them think, many of them are unhappy with the balance of their life. This does not mean that they work too much, sometimes it has been too little. It is often the case however that the aspects of their life are not balanced correctly.
In the favela everyone was smiling. They were not moaning about their lack of this and that like many of us do in England. Everything they had they wanted for, things they didn’t have they didn’t miss. There was no judging, they didn’t look at someone else and think his house isn’t as big as mine, I am better than him. In western society judging is everywhere. This gets people down. I have clients that come and see me who cannot look at themselves in the mirror. It is not unusual for me to hand a client a mirror, ask them to look into it and find that they can’t. Sometimes it even makes them cry. These people were not born disliking themselves. Sometimes the judging in western societies can create this. There was something I noticed while I was in Maria’s house. My boyfriend and I were sat on the sofa in a position that meant we were the first people anyone walking into the house would see. Two ‘gringos’ sat in the house. If I was sat in a strangers house at home and someone I didn’t know that belonged in the house was to walk in I would instantly feel the need to explain who I was and what I was doing there. Not here, people would just walk through the front door see us and smile. They didn’t know where we came from, why we were there or who we were but they smiled at us as if we should be there. As if we had the right to be there as much as they did. How in this environment could you ever begin to dislike yourself getting so much love from everyone that came near you? At one point later on in the day we walked down a beco (alleyway). There was a family group sat on the step by their house having a drink. They wanted us to sit and drink with them, just because we walked past them. I knew that anyone who walked past would have been invited to sit and share the drink. We had to get on so didn’t but that is the way it was in the favela. Every person we met said “Rocinha welcomes people with open arms” and it really was true. (Maria had also tried to get us to stay and eat with them, we would have loved to but would have been there all day & not seen any more of the favela. We told her we had a meeting so as not to be rude).
Although I appreciate that the favela has its problems. There are the drugs, the violence when the police invade, the struggle that the people face (many favela people do work in normal jobs but minimum wage is around £50 a week) and the problems that a lack of money can cause, for example thieving outside of the favela and careers in the drug trade. If we in the western society can take something from these people it would be the community spirit, the happiness of everyone. No moaning, no negativity. The love that everyone has for one another and the warmth that is felt just walking through groups of people. Unfortunately in our society it is not so easy for our children to be with their parents or close family 24/7 but goodness when I think about the amount of cuddles and kisses that Victor Hugo will receive spending every minute of every day with a close relative or family friend, in fact lots of close relatives or friends showering him with love every second I really wish we could all live in a close nit community like the generation of the early 1900s in our country did and the children of the favela do.
Unfortunately we seem to have got stuck into this society of stress where everything is about getting as many possessions as we can, to have the biggest and the best. We forget that we cannot take these things with us. We forget how the stress of this lifestyle can affect us medically. We get down and depressed. Really we just need to appreciate what we have, running water and electricity all day every day. Most of all we need to start appreciating each other again. We need to stop worrying about the next car or computer that we can buy, take some time out and spend it with our children, our friend’s children, the children of our family etc. We need to spend more time with our friends and our partners just enjoying life and appreciating what we have. Maybe then everyone will be happier, have less worries, less stress and greater health. We need to realise that just because we work x many more hours than our friend or earn y more pounds or have a bigger house than Jim or a bigger car than John it doesn’t make us a better person.
As we were leaving we met a man sat behind the till in a shop. He was reading an English language study book. He told us, in English, that he worked at the Sheraton Hotel as a bar tender. When we left the shop Zezinho told us that the man and his wife own the shop. This man may live in a shack, at the very best he lives in a favela house but he goes off every day to the Sheraton Hotel. When he is not at the hotel he must work in the shop he owns. All the while trying to learn English so that he can speak to the ignorant people like myself who make no effort to understand their language. He probably earns in a year what I earn in a month (maybe a slight exaggeration but you get the point!) instantly judging like a typical westerner I knew that he was the better person! He didn’t think so, to him we were equal. I now understand why so many people who visit love Rocinha and its people.

Me and the very cute, very intelligent three year old Victor Hugo

I have many more stories to tell about our visit to Rocinha, if you are interested please ask me. I also don’t want to try and create a picture perfect image. There are problems with the favelas and they are far from perfect. The people are not happy with the conditions but they love the community all the same. There were boys with machine guns checking everybody that entered and exited the favela. The minibus we got in is funded by the drug lords. Inside the favela or in the districts close by the drug lords will not accept any violence, theft, abuse etc however there is no punishment for people who thieve from a district further away. But it is the community way and the attitude of the people that I am interested in and think that we can all learn from.

Suggestion for Self Hypnosis: NEWSLETTER ISSUE 3, ARTICLE 3

Suggestion for Self Hypnosis
Following on from last month’s article on self hypnosis, for those that have been practising here is a short guide to taking the self hypnosis work a step further. Continuing the self hypnosis as last month from steps one to five but this time imagine that you are walking down the steps into a large bath of water. See the water beginning at step five and as you continue slowly down the last five steps feel yourself stepping into the warm, pure water. See the water as cleansing and beautiful. Feel the water as it tickles your feet, ankles and eventually your calves.
Slowly lower yourself into the water. If you are confident in water see the water come up to your shoulders. You can stand but also float or swim if you wish. If you do not feel confident in water see the water the same depth as a bath. You can float nicely and feel calm and content.
You may have already decided what it is you want to work on. If you haven’t just allow your subconscious mind to go wherever it needs to go. See three boxes under the water. Depending on the depth of the water you can either swim to the boxes or gently reach down and collect them. Open the boxes slowly, one at a time. Narrate to yourself what is happening as you open the box.
Avoid using statements that are negative, make sure everything you say is positive. “As I open the box I feel a calming blue light engulfing me, this light is becoming a part of me enabling me to have a peaceful night’s sleep every night. Every morning I will wake feeling refreshed, happy and positive about my day”. “As I open the box a big invisible bubble surrounds me, this bubble is going to bring me confidence so that I can feel strong in any situation I want to”. “As I open the box a little yellow ball jumps out, this little yellow ball will flash before my eyes every time I go to eat something that is not good for my body, the more I see the yellow ball the quicker I am to reaching my target weight”. “As I open the box an image of me at my ideal weight, looking exactly the way I want to look pops out. I stare at the image; I watch that part of me, knowing that I can look the way I want to look. I step into the reflection of me and we become one. Every day in every way I am getting closer and closer to this reflection of myself”.
Repeat your statement to yourself as many times as you wish. Two to three times should be enough. If you are visualising something such as a reflection of yourself looking the way you want to look really look at what is around you. Study yourself. Are you smiling or frowning? Is the sun shining or is it raining? What can you smell? What can you taste? Are there any noises? What or who is in the background? Spend a few minutes really looking around at everything. Sometimes we only see what it is we are looking for, it is important to notice everything else also.
When you have finished opening your boxes and you are ready to continue your day bring yourself out of self hypnosis as instructed in last month’s newsletter.

Twitter and its place in 2010: NEWSLETTER ISSUE 3, ARTICLE 2

Twitter and its place in 2010
Ten years ago if I’d have said I was going out for the evening to meet people that I had “met” in a Yahoo chat room the majority of people would look at me as if I was absolutely mad. However today I can proudly say that on the 25 March I am going to a Twestival. I know that most reading this probably will be thinking right now,
ok she is a F R E A K
but let me explain further.
A Twestival (or Twitter Festival) is a global series of events organised by volunteers around the world under short timescales which bring people offline for a great cause. Twestival began in September 2008 when a group of London Twitter users hosted an event called Harvest Twestival to raise money and collect food for a local charity known as The Connection. The event was intended for 30 – 40 people but on the day there was a waiting list and 250 attendees. On 8 January 2009 the first Twestival Global tweet went out and a month later 202 cities around the world hosted events to raise money for charity water projects.
Twestival 2010 will be held on 25 March. This year all of the money raised will go to Concern Worldwide. So now it’s a little more interesting but still I hear you thinking
but it’s still an event at which you are going to meet a load of people from the internet and more to the point what are you doing on Twitter anyway?!
Over the past few months I have enjoyed using Twitter for business and social purposes. I have to be completely honest and say that I first found Twitter because of the race between Ashton Kutcher and CNN to get one million followers. I was nosy, so I signed up! I soon started to realise that there are a lot of entrepreneurs tweeting. Duncan Bannatyne is a big tweeter as are Peter Jones and James Caan. A lot of celebrities tweet, Jonathan Ross, Chris Evans, Matthew Horne, the list goes on. What I realised is that all of these people are simply promoting themselves. We watch these people as they answer questions on GMTV or The One Show and sometimes forget that they are not doing this for the benefit of the show or us. I knew if I wanted to move with the times I needed to start promoting myself on Twitter.
First step, get some local people following me. If I have local people following me; when they need a Hypnotherapist they will come and see me, if a friend mentions they want to lose weight or quit smoking they may say “I know a hypnotherapist who can help with that”. So this is what I did. As I started to get involved in the Twitter conversations between local people I was pleasantly surprised at what a huge networking tool Twitter is. I soon found out about a Surrey Tweet Up, which was conveniently held in my local Slug and Lettuce. Again I can see you all thinking...
The freak is back!
I wasn’t totally sure but the fact it was being held in a Slug and Lettuce seemed to make it that little bit less geeky! The event was hosted by a local PR Agency @thebluedoor , their bio: “thebluedoor is a specialist external communications agency, with a passion for PR done well. “ And sponsored by @ranjerj aka Julian Ranger, his bio reads “Career 2 as an Angel Investor and serial entrepreneur”. For them this was just another way to promote themselves. For me it meant a good night out, meeting new people, promoting myself and free drinks. Whoever thought that when I left the ‘great big City job’ I would still get free nights out?! There was a slight structure to the evening, Julian as a plus point of sponsoring the evening got to speak for a little while – his chosen topic was along the lines of social media and how our information is lost soon after we write it (along with a new Twitter app that he has invested in which will help with this problem), very apt! Then chat and get merry!
I met some great people at the Tweet Up, some who were also there to promote their businesses others who just use Twitter for fun but it really was an interesting and entertaining evening.
Now I am looking forward to another great evening at the Surrey Twestival. It is being held in Farnham Castle, sponsored by Mars Drinks (which means we certainly won’t be short of chocolate on the night) along with ibundle (Julian Ranger’s company, investing in ideas) and raffle.it – definitely worth a look at for those who like winning (http://raffle.it/). Of course the participant list is online so I have been able to see who is attending; there are some very interesting people who I look forward to meeting and telling all about my work and some others who I have already met that I know promote me to others. I will enjoy having a drink or three with those I already know and a sensible conversation with those I don’t. It’s going to be a good night for business and pleasure. They say the two don’t mix but according to the rules of Twitter Etiquette, on Twitter they have to as you sell your business and yourself with your interesting tweets (which cannot all be work related)!
It seems to me that social media is becoming more and more popular. There are many businesses using Twitter and more recently Facebook Fan Pages to promote their work. We all know that things change as time moves on and technology is certainly advancing faster than ever before. However ‘sad’ or ‘unchic’ it seems it’s only those moving with the times that are going to advance at the same pace. In the words of Mike Elgan:
“The fact is that Twitter can be a breaking news resource, a celebrity gossip site, a business workgroup communication tool, a personal diary, a way to track packages or thousands of other things. It's whatever you want it to be.”
If you are already on Twitter please follow me @jhhypnotherapy. If not some interesting people to follow are @dragonjones, @duncanbannatyne, @timlovejoy, @wossy, @achrisevans. Last but definitely not least – yes I have got some clients through Twitter!

The HypnoGastricBand: NEWSLETTER ISSUE 3, ARTICLE 1

The HypnoGastricBand
Sometimes when I am at networking events I mention my HypnoGastricBand process and people laugh. However the silence prevails as they realise the seriousness of the issue when I tell people that one of my most recent clients had actually been referred, by her doctor for a real Gastric Band. In England today about 46% of men and 32% of women are overweight whilst an additional 17% of men and 21% of women are obese. These statistics are increasing dramatically. The percentage of adults that are obese has roughly doubled since the mid 1980s. The Government have even gone so far as to encourage fish and chip shops to make fatter chips as they contain less calories and fat than the thinner version!
A Gastric Band operation is performed laparoscopically and can involve complications, as with all surgery. Between 5 – 10% of patients will require a second operation. The cost is astronomical – as much as £5000 at some clinics and it doesn’t always work! The purpose of the gastric band is to make one feel full more quickly. The stomach is restricted by the band so that less needs to be eaten to fill the stomach. Now please excuse me if I am wrong here but I do not think obese people are overweight because they are hungrier than anyone else. It’s because they think about food in the wrong way. Many of us do not stop eating when we are full, we continue because we are enjoying the food or to mask another feeling. We eat sweets, chocolate, crisps or biscuits as snacks. Again, not because we are hungry but because we are bored, fed up or something similar. So to simply create something that just makes a person feel full quicker than normal seems to be lacking somewhat. Please don’t get me wrong I am sure in a lot of cases it works wonders but what I mean is that these people need more than to just feel full. The whole relationship with food needs to be changed; they need to address the real feelings so that they can recognise when they are eating because they are hungry and when they are eating to mask a feeling. Once this has been recognised the feelings can be dealt with as they should and they can begin to eat for the right reasons.
Being overweight can affect us physically and psychologically. I always ask my weight loss clients “what is the biggest problem being overweight causes”. The answer is never anything to do with health but always something along the lines of not being able to go into a clothes shop and buy anything they want. This explains part of the problem with overeating. Many people that are overweight get so depressed with the way they look, they eat to make themselves feel better. This immediately creates that vicious circle that is so common with many problems.
My HypnoGastricBand process involves a lot of work to remove any psychological attachments to food. We also do a lot of work to help people to love themselves again. The HypnoGastricBand process is a five session program. The first two sessions involve regression work. This is where the qualified hypnotherapist uses a process known as Hypno Analysis to try and find the reasons for the overeating. It may be something as simple as when a child we were given food to stop us from crying. Immediately in this situation the brain begins to form a relationship between the feeling of resolve and food. As adults we will subconsciously head for the fridge when feeling sad/angry/lonely or whatever it was we were feeling all of those years ago when crying. Or it could be a lot more complex.
The third session in the process is the ‘consultation at the clinic’. In hypnosis the hypnotherapist will take you through this scene. Here your subconscious mind will begin to believe that you will be having the gastric band fitted on the agreed date. This is what would happen if you were really having a gastric band fitted so we make sure the process ties in nicely with this. At the fourth session the hypnotherapist will take the client, in hypnosis, through the ‘gastric band operation’. The hypnosis script was written exactly as a gastric band operation is performed. We have real theatre (surgical) noises playing in the background and the client is encouraged to really focus on the sights, sounds, smells etc that would really be there if the operation was happening for real. Parts of the script are personalised to the individual client but the operation specifics stay the same.
The final session is an open session. This is there for the client to use as they wish. If the eating has changed and they are doing really well they could have a session to ‘remove the gastric band’. If the client feels they need a top up we could have a session that involves ‘tightening the gastric band’. If neither of these is necessary then the client can just come for an hour of relaxation or to address any other issues that they may feel are preventing them from moving forward.
Each client gets a MP3 player with personalised weight loss suggestions on to listen to at home and also a session with a nutritionist is included in the price of the process. The reason for the MP3 player is because sometimes clients feel that they will benefit further by having a regular top up session. It’s much more economical to do this via a recording that they can listen to whenever it’s convenient than having to book another appointment with their hypnotherapist. The session with the nutritionist is very important. Although I can advise my clients on better eating habits I am not qualified to do so. I also know that every person is different and there is a diet that is suitable for some of us but not others. This is something the nutritionist can advise on.
The best thing about this process is that it really does work. The HypnoGastricBand was born when I wrote the script for a client almost a year ago. Since then my colleague Sue and I have developed that into the process I have just described. We now have twelve practitioners across the country using our program and seeing results just like we are. If you feel that you are over eating and your weight is becoming something that affects you health wise or maybe you just want to be able to go back into your favourite clothes shop and buy all of the clothes you love please see my HypnoGastricBand website for further information. If you know someone who may be affected in this way simply forward them this newsletter!