Harley Street Hypnotherapy

I have recently become part of a brand new clinic in Harley Street. At On Harley Street a very warm welcome awaits you, we are a group of therapists brought together by our dedication and passion to our specialist areas of work and by our commitment to bringing you the very best level of care and professional service.

On Harley Street provides a multi-disciplinary approach to its clients, offering you choice, experience and a holistic approach to your needs. The clinic has actively sought out professionals at the top of their field, with years of experience in their chosen specialist area, giving you the confidence and peace of mind that you are in the best hands. Whilst I can see you for other reasons at Harley Street I am the Fertility and HypnoBirth specialist; there to help you if you are struggling to conceive, many people do not realise that psychological health is almost more important when trying to conceive than physical. Or are already pregnant and want to experience what is known as the Spontaneous Birth Reflex/Maternal Foetal Ejection Reflex. An amazing natural reflex only experienced during the calmest, most natural births in which the baby is expelled rapidly and safely with minimal pain just as nature intended.

Although, when we work together you will always get treated in a special way, seeing me at my Harley Street practice means you will have your sessions in a central location within luxurious, tranquil surroundings. The service you will receive when arriving at On Harley Street will be second to none truly allowing you to feel comfortable in this prestigious environment.

HypnoGastricBand in Australia

Something very exciting happened this month as we welcomed four new practitioners from Sydney, Australia.

We now have over thirty practitioners across the country and worldwide! If you would like to lose weight easily and without dieting seek out your local practitioner now! Or are you a hypnotherapist that would like to become a practitioner? Email me for details.

Chilean Miners - Is the world cruel to some or is it the way we perceive things?

Chilean Miners - Is the world cruel to some or is it the way we perceive things?

Much of my work with clients involves helping others to deal with situations in a different, more positive way. Recently I have seen two examples of how people in identical situations can react very differently. There are some people in the world who often feel that they have been dealt an unfair hand, is this so or is it just that people react differently to situations? I try to help others see the positive in everything and this is the way I choose to live my life.

I wonder if you can see where this is going! Recently the world watched as 33 Chilean miners were rescued from the mine in which they had been trapped for over 69 days. During the rescue one thing that stuck in my mind was the specific order in which they were rescued. This order was determined by their psychological well being. Thirty three men that had been through an identical situation yet each one had a different reaction. Some were incredibly strong and appeared almost unaffected by the experience, others suffered awfully - yet they had all been through exactly the same thing. Juan Illanes, the third miner to be rescued, when asked what his time in the rescue shaft was like replied “like a cruise”, what a fantastically positive reaction. There are many reasons (which I may go into at a later date) that some people feel more able to cope with certain situations sometimes without seeing a problem at all, whilst others find the same situation taking over their life until whatever has happened is resolved.

Another example was in an episode of Ben Fogle’s Extreme Dreams, a group were led on a twelve day trek through the Guyana jungle to reach an amazing view of the Kaiteur Falls. There was one member of the team who victimised himself, he argued with the team daily, he continually diminished the morale of the team and on the last day when they were only half a kilometer away from the end began complaining saying he could not go on, giving every excuse possible why it was more difficult for him than the others. Again an example of someone in an identical situation to others yet felt he was in a worse situation.

Some people are lucky and naturally see the positive in situations; some have used techniques such as NLP or hypnosis to change the way they view life so that everything that happens can be turned into an opportunity, there are however a lot of people that don’t know (yet) that we can choose how to feel about situations, we can choose to feel that something is a problem, choose to allow something to cause us anxiety, choose to allow something to cause stress OR we can learn some powerful techniques to bounce through life, to let problems skim the outside but not penetrate into us. Choose to life a happy positive life where we give a nonchalant wave of our hand and say its fine.

Derren Brown – Hero at 30,000ft

Over the weekend I managed to catch Derren Brown’s latest TV show Hero at 30,000 feet (http://www.channel4.com/programmes/derren-brown-the-specials/4od#3120303). I absolutely loved the programme and want to highlight the way in which his work in this programme is pretty much the same as my work as a hypnotherapist (only I’m yet to help anyone land an aeroplane!)

If you didn’t see the programme try and watch it using the above link as it is really good viewing. To cut a long story short Derren started with a man who was pretty weak in character. He was stuck in a rut, a dead end job still living at home with his parents and generally not doing what he wanted in life. Over the period of a month Derren worked with the man to help him transform his life. Only the man didn’t know this was happening.

Derren started by giving the man certain challenges. The first was to put him right in the middle of an armed robbery. As a hypnotherapist I know that when in shock or confused the brain goes into a state where it is more able to accept suggestions. The ‘robber’ (who was of course an actor) said to the man as he was leaving the scene “you’ve done nothing with your life”. This had a big impact on the man so much so that he mentioned it to the ‘shopkeeper’ (also an actor) later on.

A couple of times throughout the month Derren woke the man from his sleep, having fitted discrete speakers in his bedroom. He called the man down to the garden and spoke to him. Again I know that hypnosis is the stage before sleep. If you look at brainwaves, when one is in a normal, alert awake state they are in beta, alpha is a relaxed state, maybe taking a walk in the garden. Theta is a daydream like state, theta is also the hypnotic state. Have you ever arrived at a destination after having driven a route you drive often and realised that you can’t remember driving the last five miles?! This is you in a hypnotic state and also your brainwaves in theta. Lastly delta, this is the sleep state. I have just explained to you here that hypnosis is the state just before sleep and the state in which we can be awake but forget what we have been doing. This explains how Derren was able to wake his subject from sleep, ask him to get dressed and walk downstairs out into the garden, speak to him and then have him forget it in the morning. It should be noted that Derren also mentioned that the man was highly suggestible – a plus for any hypnotist! Derren spoke to the man about what he should be doing with his life, said some things that would make him think about life in general (what a miracle it is and how we should make the most of every opportunity etc) and got him to touch a crocodile on the back!

The final challenge (there were others) was to have the man lay on a train track in a straight jacket with a train hurtling towards him. Now I am sure there was some camera trickery here and the man did not manage to jump up with the train only one inch away from him but even if the train was a mile away from me I would be shitting it – excuse the language here but I most definitely would! All of these challenges helped the man to learn how to take risks and also to appreciate life a little more.

The final challenge showed the man offering to land an aeroplane that he thought was crashing. I am sure there are people confused about the fact that Derren managed to keep a man in a hypnotic state or maybe asleep for long enough to land the plane, get him to a simulator and begin the experience but remember what I have told you. The man is highly suggestible, he was in shock (he thought his plane was going to crash) and he had experienced this feeling a few times already over the previous few weeks – he was the hypnotist’s dream subject. Of course the man did it; he landed the plane safely although he was told exactly what to do step by step – perhaps, in reality, not as difficult as it sounds.

Over the month what Derren did was helped the man to see things from a different perspective. He helped the man to find the resources within himself to make the changes in his life. He helped him to see that risk isn’t always so bad and that things he may have feared in the past were not so scary. He helped him to have experiences that gave him good feelings (for example organising a street party), things like this would have made him want to go on and do more of the same to get the same good feelings. The hypnosis was just an add on, a bit of a helping hand if you like. Hypnotherapy is all about you finding the strength within yourself to make the changes you so desire.

All hypnosis is self hypnosis, you cannot be hypnotised if you do not want to be, I cannot make you do anything you do not want to do – however if it is something you want to do and you allow yourself to be hypnotised your brain will be ready and willing to accept those suggestions that are thrown at you. You too can start to make some amazing changes in your life, just like Matt from Derren’s show.

Size 14 trapped in a size 12 body ©

Sometimes when I tell people my clothes size – not that I do this often I must add, maybe just if they are buying me a top, or I’m ordering a t-shirt for a run perhaps – I tell them I’m a size 12 and immediately feel the devil on my left shoulder cackling “hahahaha you aren’t a size 12, you’re a size 14 really. You just want them to THINK you’re a size 12”. I feel like people are looking at me thinking is she mad – surely she is bigger than a size 12.

I, am a size 14 trapped in a size 12 body.

My brain tells me I’m a size 14 but my body shows otherwise. Since finding this revelation I have started to use it as metaphor in my work. Just yesterday I was speaking with a client. As a child she had a very poor standard of living. She was often hungry and didn’t have particularly nice clothes. Today she always looks beautiful; however she is that poor dishevelled child in the body of a lovely, bubbly beautifully dressed woman. If we live with something for too long, when we become what we want to be we can sometimes forget to leave behind the thoughts and feelings that came with what we were.

We feel what we are but others see what we are. Therefore, even though we may still feel how we used to look others are seeing what we are today. A little tip to leave you with – fake it; If you don’t feel the way you look pretend you do, other people won’t guess you are not quite as confident. It will make you feel better as you radiate confidence and happiness and reap the rewards that come with this. If this doesn’t help come and see me ;-)

©Copyright Juliet Hollingsworth 2010

A Favela Story

Rocinha Favela is one of the largest favelas in South America. According to Zezinho, the resident who kindly showed us around it has around 300,000 habitants. Yesterday we spent eleven hours ‘hanging out’ with Zezinho, in the favela.
In the morning we met Zezinho by the beach and he took us in a minibus to the bottom of the favela. We then got mototaxis (moped taxis) to near the top of the hill where there was the most amazing view. At the top of the hill we bumped into a young Brazilian couple that live in Gavea, apparently a rich district in Rio. The guy was saying how he wanted to rent a house in Rocinha near to where we were standing. He said how much he loves Rocinha. Why does everyone who visits love Rocinha is what I wanted to know!
Within about 10 minutes of beginning our walk back down the hill a lady started shouting at us from her rooftop. Zezinho said to us that she was inviting us on to her roof. Of course we went up. When we reached the roof of the two story building the lady, Maria, told us how she was building another floor onto the roof that would have three rooms, on the veranda of the below floor she was going to have a swimming pool. We later learnt that she had paid £30,000 for the house as it was, just two small rooms, it’s certainly not just shacks in the favela!
We ended up spending over three hours at Maria’s house. This is where we learnt the most about the people of the favela. I can however only speak for the people we met, the favela we went to and their side of the story. When we walked into the house there was a little boy sat in a tub full of water in the bathroom. As we sat down Maria’s daughter got him out of the tub and got him dressed. The first thing that struck me was how clean it was inside the house. It was either cleaning day or she cleaned daily. It would only later occur to me that if I was going to have around twenty guests a day I would probably be permanently cleaning too! It smelt lovely, a freshly cleaned house. The daughter who looked about fifteen but we later learnt was actually eighteen brought the little boy in and sat down with us all. Everyone was speaking in Portuguese and shamefully we did not understand a word but Zezinho translated for us. There was another woman there who was the cousin of Maria. Zezinho asked whether the little boy was Maria’s son or her grandson. It turned out he was her grandson, the son of the young looking girl. There is apparently a problem of teen pregnancies in the favela as there is in certain areas of the UK. When Zezinho asked the girl how old she was when she had her son (fifteen) she looked extremely embarrassed. The mother said she had been very naughty doing what she did but we laughed with her as she giggled in embarrassment, shamefully covering her face. We then got into a discussion about how the daughter is still in school and the mother looks after the son. We started talking about the life of people outside the favela and the life in the favela. It is this that I found really important and wish that everyone from our western society could come and in see these people like I did.
During the time we were at Maria’s house five different people came in to visit. Not being able to fully understand the language I wasn’t quite sure who everyone was and why they were there but I pretty much got the jist that they were all family in some form, cousins/daughters etc and they were just there to say hi. Coincidently I am reading Gilda O’Neill’s book Our Street at the moment which is all about the East End Community during the Second World War. My Nan, having grown up just off Brick Lane often talks to me about these times and how every house was an open house and how families always lived minutes walk away from each other if not in the same house. I got the impression that living in the favela is just like this. The lady told us that her grandson may not grow up with the luxuries of life that we in the western world do but he would grow up with a lot of love. Every single visitor that entered the house went and gave Victor Hugo a big hug before they did anything. Now we were only in the house for three hours. Goodness knows how many other visitors would turn up in the time we weren’t there but I imagine it is like this every day for families in the favela. Victor Hugo would grow up with a huge amount of love. If he had a problem there would always be someone there to listen. It wouldn’t be a case of “Later I have to finish this piece of work” as is often the case in the Western World. Now Victor Hugo may not grow up with the opportunities many of us have but I expect he will grow up with far less ‘issues’ than you and I. Victor Hugo at three years old already knew how to use a computer. He would go down to the local internet cafe and msn his friends. He certainly wasn’t suffering in intelligence without the opportunities of the western world!
A big thing that was spoken about was how the people living in the favela work hard but they also play hard. There was huge emphasis on enjoying life. Big parties, spilling into the street every Thursday to Sunday. I really try to encourage many of my clients to think about the work life balance. It is something very important that we seem to have lost in our society today. When I sit with my clients and really make them think, many of them are unhappy with the balance of their life. This does not mean that they work too much, sometimes it has been too little. It is often the case however that the aspects of their life are not balanced correctly.
In the favela everyone was smiling. They were not moaning about their lack of this and that like many of us do in England. Everything they had they wanted for, things they didn’t have they didn’t miss. There was no judging, they didn’t look at someone else and think his house isn’t as big as mine, I am better than him. In western society judging is everywhere. This gets people down. I have clients that come and see me who cannot look at themselves in the mirror. It is not unusual for me to hand a client a mirror, ask them to look into it and find that they can’t. Sometimes it even makes them cry. These people were not born disliking themselves. Sometimes the judging in western societies can create this. There was something I noticed while I was in Maria’s house. My boyfriend and I were sat on the sofa in a position that meant we were the first people anyone walking into the house would see. Two ‘gringos’ sat in the house. If I was sat in a strangers house at home and someone I didn’t know that belonged in the house was to walk in I would instantly feel the need to explain who I was and what I was doing there. Not here, people would just walk through the front door see us and smile. They didn’t know where we came from, why we were there or who we were but they smiled at us as if we should be there. As if we had the right to be there as much as they did. How in this environment could you ever begin to dislike yourself getting so much love from everyone that came near you? At one point later on in the day we walked down a beco (alleyway). There was a family group sat on the step by their house having a drink. They wanted us to sit and drink with them, just because we walked past them. I knew that anyone who walked past would have been invited to sit and share the drink. We had to get on so didn’t but that is the way it was in the favela. Every person we met said “Rocinha welcomes people with open arms” and it really was true. (Maria had also tried to get us to stay and eat with them, we would have loved to but would have been there all day & not seen any more of the favela. We told her we had a meeting so as not to be rude).
Although I appreciate that the favela has its problems. There are the drugs, the violence when the police invade, the struggle that the people face (many favela people do work in normal jobs but minimum wage is around £50 a week) and the problems that a lack of money can cause, for example thieving outside of the favela and careers in the drug trade. If we in the western society can take something from these people it would be the community spirit, the happiness of everyone. No moaning, no negativity. The love that everyone has for one another and the warmth that is felt just walking through groups of people. Unfortunately in our society it is not so easy for our children to be with their parents or close family 24/7 but goodness when I think about the amount of cuddles and kisses that Victor Hugo will receive spending every minute of every day with a close relative or family friend, in fact lots of close relatives or friends showering him with love every second I really wish we could all live in a close nit community like the generation of the early 1900s in our country did and the children of the favela do.
Unfortunately we seem to have got stuck into this society of stress where everything is about getting as many possessions as we can, to have the biggest and the best. We forget that we cannot take these things with us. We forget how the stress of this lifestyle can affect us medically. We get down and depressed. Really we just need to appreciate what we have, running water and electricity all day every day. Most of all we need to start appreciating each other again. We need to stop worrying about the next car or computer that we can buy, take some time out and spend it with our children, our friend’s children, the children of our family etc. We need to spend more time with our friends and our partners just enjoying life and appreciating what we have. Maybe then everyone will be happier, have less worries, less stress and greater health. We need to realise that just because we work x many more hours than our friend or earn y more pounds or have a bigger house than Jim or a bigger car than John it doesn’t make us a better person.
As we were leaving we met a man sat behind the till in a shop. He was reading an English language study book. He told us, in English, that he worked at the Sheraton Hotel as a bar tender. When we left the shop Zezinho told us that the man and his wife own the shop. This man may live in a shack, at the very best he lives in a favela house but he goes off every day to the Sheraton Hotel. When he is not at the hotel he must work in the shop he owns. All the while trying to learn English so that he can speak to the ignorant people like myself who make no effort to understand their language. He probably earns in a year what I earn in a month (maybe a slight exaggeration but you get the point!) instantly judging like a typical westerner I knew that he was the better person! He didn’t think so, to him we were equal. I now understand why so many people who visit love Rocinha and its people.

Me and the very cute, very intelligent three year old Victor Hugo

I have many more stories to tell about our visit to Rocinha, if you are interested please ask me. I also don’t want to try and create a picture perfect image. There are problems with the favelas and they are far from perfect. The people are not happy with the conditions but they love the community all the same. There were boys with machine guns checking everybody that entered and exited the favela. The minibus we got in is funded by the drug lords. Inside the favela or in the districts close by the drug lords will not accept any violence, theft, abuse etc however there is no punishment for people who thieve from a district further away. But it is the community way and the attitude of the people that I am interested in and think that we can all learn from.

Suggestion for Self Hypnosis: NEWSLETTER ISSUE 3, ARTICLE 3

Suggestion for Self Hypnosis
Following on from last month’s article on self hypnosis, for those that have been practising here is a short guide to taking the self hypnosis work a step further. Continuing the self hypnosis as last month from steps one to five but this time imagine that you are walking down the steps into a large bath of water. See the water beginning at step five and as you continue slowly down the last five steps feel yourself stepping into the warm, pure water. See the water as cleansing and beautiful. Feel the water as it tickles your feet, ankles and eventually your calves.
Slowly lower yourself into the water. If you are confident in water see the water come up to your shoulders. You can stand but also float or swim if you wish. If you do not feel confident in water see the water the same depth as a bath. You can float nicely and feel calm and content.
You may have already decided what it is you want to work on. If you haven’t just allow your subconscious mind to go wherever it needs to go. See three boxes under the water. Depending on the depth of the water you can either swim to the boxes or gently reach down and collect them. Open the boxes slowly, one at a time. Narrate to yourself what is happening as you open the box.
Avoid using statements that are negative, make sure everything you say is positive. “As I open the box I feel a calming blue light engulfing me, this light is becoming a part of me enabling me to have a peaceful night’s sleep every night. Every morning I will wake feeling refreshed, happy and positive about my day”. “As I open the box a big invisible bubble surrounds me, this bubble is going to bring me confidence so that I can feel strong in any situation I want to”. “As I open the box a little yellow ball jumps out, this little yellow ball will flash before my eyes every time I go to eat something that is not good for my body, the more I see the yellow ball the quicker I am to reaching my target weight”. “As I open the box an image of me at my ideal weight, looking exactly the way I want to look pops out. I stare at the image; I watch that part of me, knowing that I can look the way I want to look. I step into the reflection of me and we become one. Every day in every way I am getting closer and closer to this reflection of myself”.
Repeat your statement to yourself as many times as you wish. Two to three times should be enough. If you are visualising something such as a reflection of yourself looking the way you want to look really look at what is around you. Study yourself. Are you smiling or frowning? Is the sun shining or is it raining? What can you smell? What can you taste? Are there any noises? What or who is in the background? Spend a few minutes really looking around at everything. Sometimes we only see what it is we are looking for, it is important to notice everything else also.
When you have finished opening your boxes and you are ready to continue your day bring yourself out of self hypnosis as instructed in last month’s newsletter.